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Echoes from the club meeting of the loafers
I want to become a multimillionaire like my father.
Is your father a multimillionaire?
No, but he wants to be one.
Driving through Bruce’s drive
I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his driveway, thoughts occur to me. I have thought of “Waiting for Godot” several times lately. The thoughts were inspired by road works done by MnDOT and Iowa DOT. While waiting for heavy equipment to move, I pulled out my wallet and put the parts in their correct positions. One of those parts was my driver’s license. Do you have a driver’s license or a driver’s license? What did the cop call it when he stopped you? Minnesota has driver’s licenses and Iowa has driver’s licenses.
I came from the annual meeting of the Association of People Who Don’t Eat Chocolate. We met in a smart car. After that, my wife and I went to a church. The pleasant meal there included cake. I’m a cake guy, but I won’t turn down cake. Most of the time there was chocolate cake, but there was a piece of cake that I would eat. I packed it. When I was about to eat cake, I noticed that the piece had sprinkles on my plate. I don’t understand the purpose of sprinkles. I grumbled good-naturedly with my wife and sister-in-law. It hasn’t reached the stage of woe as I appreciate that who make food. I ate the cake because I took the cake. Then I grumbled to myself. I had a professor who liked to say, “Sometimes it’s always good.” That always made me smile. It’s always good to listen to yourself sometimes. I stopped grumbling.
Stay in a pandemic
When the pandemic did something, it supplied every household with plenty of cardboard. I lost trips, like many of you. I wanted to send my cell phone to Spain and have someone take bad photos that I could look at later. It would be like I was there. I didn’t want to see a bullfight. I had a fight with a bull. I lost.
Bad Joke Department
Mirrors don’t lie. We can be grateful that they don’t laugh.
What do you call 10,000 divers in the ocean? 20,000 legs under the sea.
The creator of autocorrect has died. Its funnel is tomato.
Robin: The Batmobile won’t start. Batman: check the battery. Robin: What’s a tery?
My mind thinks I’m 25 but my body thinks I’m an idiot.
What is the name of an overweight parrot with an umbrella? A polyunsaturated fat.
I asked my dentist if I could do something about my yellowish teeth. He recommended wearing brown shirts.
What do you call a polar bear in Hawaii? Lost.
I have learned
You’re cheap if you think there’s no such thing as an empty tube of toothpaste.
The stupidest conspiracy theory is to believe that we are always right.
Never buy an orange electric car. The juice is running out.
Children remember everything and forget everything.
If you want a walk-in closet, buy a treadmill.
If warning signs were everywhere they are needed, we would be covered with them.
Nature notes
One woman called and told me that after she moved into a house she bought in northern Minnesota, she was circling a hummingbird on her shady lawn. That confused her enough to call the couple she bought the house from. They said they had a hummingbird feeder there. She rushed to a store and procured a feeder. Once in place, this hummingbird became a café regular. How can a little bird remember food sources? Its survival depends on finding food. That is his job. The bird has a chance to live 3-5 years, so it doesn’t spend time worrying about a retirement plan.
Mosquitoes breed in stagnant or stagnant water, and a teaspoon or bottle of water left for more than a week is enough to develop. A container with at least an inch of standing water is a perfect breeding place for mosquitoes. Mosquitoes are weak fliers and slow (1-1.5 mph). Placing a large fan on your deck can be daunting. Research has shown that mosquitoes are more attracted to people with blood group 0 than to other blood groups.
Cicadas sing from July until the first frost. Barbecues from May to October, but pick up the pace in July and are accompanied by the sounds of the katydids at this time. Goldenrod is blamed for your hay fever, but the culprit is ragweed.
A friend, Gordon Hopp, from southeast Nebraska, maintains 400 bluebird nest boxes and flies 2,000 bluebirds annually. His numbers are less than 10% of that this year.
Meeting adjourned
Serve others with a heaping helping of kindness.
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