[ad_1]
NEW YORK (AP) – They’re smooching on a yacht off Saint-Tropez. They cuddle while walking in the Hamptons. They feast on sushi at dinner in Malibu.
If PDA were an Olympic sport, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck would be champions. But there is something else that drives interest in Bennifer: the picture-book nature of long-lost love.
The A-listers revived their romance 17 years after they split in 2004. It’s a familiar path for countless couples who got together years after their split.
The two stars spoke of intense tabloid pressure as a factor in ending their engagement when Lopez told People in 2016, “I think another time, another thing, who knows what could have happened? But there was real love. “
While the tabloids are not a reviving topic for ordinary people, the real love part is universal no matter what got in the way the first time.
“She never left my mind. There was something about her, something about her soul, her spirit that attracted me as I got older, “said 43-year-old Matt Escobar Sr. of his wife Jessica.
The Merced, Calif. Couple – he director of the youth center and she a nurse – met in eighth grade math class after Escobar was sent to an uncle outside Seattle to escape his troubled youth in New York.
They had their first kiss on a forest walk that year, but Escobar’s stubborn behavior continued, including arrests for robbery and assault. He was expelled and sent back east where he was put in a detention center.
More troubles ensued, including a stint on the road, and the two lost contact for 15 years before Escobar tracked her down on Classmates.com in 2006. In between there were marriages, children, relocations and jobs, but Jessica never forgot either.
Her longtime best friend “always said that no one could ever keep up with Matt. Even though he was worried, he was always very, very respectful and just very funny and very warm and very nice and not what people might think of a kid who got into trouble, ”she said.
They married in 2013 and have six children together.
“It was such a blessing to have her back in my life after all the tough things I’d been through,” said Escobar.
Meg Calkins, a 56-year-old college professor in Raleigh, North Carolina, and Steve Badger, a lawyer of the same age, became friends in Indianapolis in fifth grade. They stayed in the Friend Zone through high school but only became college sweethearts for a short time in their junior year.
“I’ve taken the first step,” laughed Calkins. “I told him, ‘I kind of have a crush on you.’ We’ve always had a connection because we just like to talk to each other and understand each other’s humor. “
After a few months, the two set off for summer programs abroad. That’s when Calkins met someone else. She was 20. She married when she was 23.
And that was it for Badger.
Five years passed and Calkins’ marriage ended in divorce. Even a second marriage did not work out after 20 years. Dachs married while studying law. That relationship lasted 29 years before they got divorced.
For 30 years, Calkins and Badger only saw each other once at their 20th high school get-together.
“He didn’t speak to me,” she recalled.
Badger added, “I didn’t. I wasn’t very nice then. “
Both found themselves free in 2019. “Facebook always told me, oh, you should be friends with Steve Badger, but I never made friends with him because I thought he was so mad at me for our awkward breakup,” said Calkins.
It wasn’t him. He got over it. After his divorce, he signed up on Facebook. They talked online, then Badger drove 100 miles to have lunch with Calkins in Louisville, Kentucky, where her daughter was participating in a volleyball tournament.
“I kept looking at Steve and his eyes were exactly the same as when he was 20 years old,” said Calkins. “It is as if a kindness and an intellect shine from his eyes. One of the things I really love about him is that he’s the smartest person I know. And he’s also the friendliest. “
The two only moved in together three weeks ago after cultivating a long-distance relationship during the pandemic.
“I don’t really love the person I was when I was 21, and I also don’t love the person I was in high school,” said Calkins. “But I like the person I am now, and I think that’s a big thing to consider when relaunching relationships.”
Clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, author of Date Smart: Transform Your Relationships & Love Fearless, agreed.
“Relationships that are renewed after many years can actually thrive in certain situations, especially when both partners are emotionally intelligent and confident,” she said. “When the partners are truly connected and well-matched but find life issues in the way, reconnecting later in life can be delightful and deeply rewarding.”
Manly has seen a surge in revived lovers in the digital age with the ease of internet search and social media. But the search doesn’t always pay off.
“Sometimes former partners give too much hope and effort to revive a relationship that should never be,” she said.
Tammy Shaklee, the founder of an LGBTQ matchmaking company in Austin, Texas, warned the reasons for the breakup could persist years later. Certain properties don’t change drastically, she said.
“Introvert vs. Extrovert is a prime example. People who go back to a previous relationship and feel that those traits will be different this time will likely end up back where they were last, ”Shaklee said.
However, the maturation process can sometimes go a long way towards a happy ending.
Page Jordan in Dallas was a 19-year-old commercial real estate intern that 25-year-old Jake Jordan worked for when they were dating in college. She graduated and they separated after three years.
“She had just left school and I was starting to take it a little more seriously. I think that scared her a little, ”Jake said.
Page added, “Yeah, at that point I haven’t been to a place where I wanted to settle. I just got my first job and was independent for the first time and kind of wanted to enjoy it. And he had founded his own company and was very stressed and did not cope with the stress with a lot of patience, I would say. “
The two reconnected in 2019. They married on March 27th this year. How does he deal with stress now at 40?
“Much better,” said Page. “He’s so much more patient and I think I can handle it better and be mindful and respectful when he’s got a lot ahead of him.”
Jake sees something equally important: “We still really looked after each other.”
___
Follow Leanne Italie on Twitter at http://twitter.com/litalie
[ad_2]
