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AUSTIN, TX – Texas lawmakers called the move “an important step in protecting the unborn child,” and passed law Thursday banning residents from high stairs to prevent women with unwanted pregnancies from getting any ideas. “We are proud to reaffirm the sanctity of life with this law that prohibits anyone in the state from using stairs with more than 12 steps,” said Governor Greg Abbott, confirming that Texans have an elevator in all buildings over two stories or use an escalator to prevent an expectant mother from getting inside her head trying to pull something. “We hope to expand this legislation in the near future with additional bans on intense exercise, heated hot tubs, vitamin C, imported soft cheese and of course all metal wires and hangers. We also encourage residents to report any women they stand in line for a roller coaster before they can do any fun business. ”Abbott added that pregnant women who were minors or incest victims would still have the opportunity to socialize shooting a rifle in the stomach.
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https://www.theonion.com/texas-bans-access-to-tall-staircases-in-case-women-with-1848083342
